Tips for Supporting
Transitional-Age Foster Youth in College
Studies show
that the average adult is not fully self-sufficient until their
mid-twenties. Transitional-age foster
youth are no different. These young adults also need guidance and support making
the successful transition into college and adulthood. As a foster parent or
adult supporter, you can have an important role and make a difference in the
life of transitional-age foster youth. Here are 10 basic tips to help you
succeed with supporting and mentoring your foster youth student in college.
1.
Trust. Your foster youth student must be
able to trust you. Many times these youth have been abused, abandoned, or
neglected making trust an important component of a relationship. Follow through
on promises and things you say you are going to do.
2.
Guidance. You are there to offer guidance, not
discipline. Young adults are learning to manage their freedom and
responsibilities. They may not always do things perfectly or the way you would
like but you have to provide him or her space to make their own decisions.
3.
Don’t judge. As previously mentioned, young
adults are learning to manage their
freedom and responsibilities. When a young adult has made a mistake or needs
help they need to safe and non-judgmental person to talk with. If you are
judgmental or too hard on the young adult he or she will not feel comfortable
speaking with about personal issues or concerns. Your positive guidance can
offer new perspectives and words of encouragement when the youth needs it the
most.
4.
Believe. First, you must believe that your
foster youth student can be successful in college. Then you must communicate
that belief to him or her. Positive reinforcement and belief in someone can
shape their own ideas of what is possible for their future.
5. Become informed. Become informed about the resources
available to help your foster youth student go to college. You do not have to
be a college graduate or even have ever attended college to help your foster
youth student. All you have to do is search the internet for resources or speak
with a knowledgeable high school or college counselor or speak with a social
worker. At least one of these individuals should be able to assist you or point
you in the right direction.
6.
Access Resources. Colleges and universities have a
multitude of resources to assist students throughout their academic career. Encourage your foster youth student to
seek advice from an academic advisor about the resources available to him or
her and then encourage him or her to actually use those resources.
7.
Promote Independence. Young adults need assistance with
learning basic life skills to help them become independent, self-sufficient
adults. Some examples are managing money, time management, renting an
apartment, paying bills, purchasing a car, and etc. Take the time to show your
foster youth student how to do these basic life skills. Although there are
programs that do this, a young adult would benefit from the one-on-one
attention and repetition of such valuable information.
8.
Self Advocacy. Part of independence is the ability
to self advocate. Foster youth may need support learning how to self advocate
or ask for help. Encourage your youth to self advocate and to ask for help when
needed. Many young adults may believe that being independent means “You don’t
need help.” Bust this myth for the youth and let the youth know that we all
need help at different times in life.
9.
Accountability. Part of becoming an independent,
self-sufficient adult is taking responsibility for your actions. Don’t try to
“fix” the youth’s mistake or protect them from consequences. Just like any
other young adult—transitional age foster youth will have to reap the benefits
and consequences of their decisions. These experiences will help them grow if
the youth takes the opportunity to learn from the decision. Foster parents and
adult supporters can help the youth by becoming a “listening ear” and help the
youth reflect on what has been learned.
10. Checking In. Life
is very busy for a college student. Don’t take it personally if the youth does
not reach out to frequently. Take the initiative and check in with the student.
Ask about how the student is doing or ask about their classes or ask about how
he or she is managing specific aspects of their life. The youth will appreciate
that you are reaching out to them and this small act will communicate that you
care and are concerned about their well-being. A little attention can go a long
way.
