I am currently reading a book about White Privilege and this entry is just a few of my thoughts as I process the concepts in the book. (Part 3, chapter 4)
Perhaps, it is a bit late to disclose this but I wanted to address my expectations about reading this book. I expected to be bored. In my arrogance, I thought, “What could this book teach me about White privilege that I don’t know through experience, other than some historical facts.”
However, I expected my White colleagues in the class to lower their defenses, role-up their sleeves and do the tough emotional work and allow the book to transform their views about privilege. After reading part 1, I thought why don’t I expect the same from myself? I began to think deeper about the concepts introduced in this book and tried to think of ways I could adapt them to areas of privilege in my own life. I, too, should role up my sleeves and do the tough emotional work to transform my own ideas about the areas of privilege I possess.
I believe that we are all privileged and oppressed in some way or another. Over the years, it has been very easy for me to recognize personal areas of oppression. In fact, I have allowed so much of the oppression to shape my identity and reality. I have not considered taking the time to explore the other parts of that reality--which are my areas of privilege. I do not deny the discrimination and oppression I experienced, however, I have not given thought to the ways in which I am member of oppressive groups.
I claim to believe in justice. If I really believe this, I MUST confront my own prejudices and areas of privilege. I must do the hard work. The work means: critical self examination, acknowledging my areas of privilege, identifying my contributions as part of system in an oppressive group, and have the courage to work toward justice.
With all of this, it provides a point of reference for how I analyzed the rest of these chapters. In chapter four, I made a connection between white privilege and what I call “light privilege.” Being a lighter-skinned minority has afforded me an edge over my darker-skinned minority counter parts. I too have discounted the discrimination of darker-skinned folks. Unfortunately, I have said things like, “they [who ever the darker skinned person was at the time] just need to know how to navigate the white man’s system” or “they need to know how to play the game.” There are times that I recall when I gave little validation to the fact that their darker skin made life harder for them. I thought we’re all Blacks but some of us don’t know how to “play the game.”
Thinking back on many situations in my life, I was the “first” friend, girlfriend, employee, etc in the lives of many Whites that I knew. My assumption now is that my mixed ethnic heritage and lighter skin made me more palatable to many whites. Being palatable allowed those whites who were “on the fence” to give me chance or access. I carry much of that dismal attitude within my own interracial discrimination. All I can do now is to be conscious of this and work to do better and believe others when they tell me that their darker skin makes a difference. This is my confession of “light privilege.”
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
“Am I willing to give up who I am for who I want to become?”
Currently, I am reading a book titled White Privilege. This particular entry is about part 3, chapter 2 "Privilege as a paradox." The chapter made a lot of sense because the author's framework for understanding the concept of privilege aligns closely with my epistemological philosophy centered around social constructivism. I believe that knowledge and truth are subjective and constructed within the context of society and human understanding. I agree with the author of this chapter and his definition of privilege which is in relation to a group or social categories. Johnson, the author, also writes, “When it comes to privilege, then it doesn’t matter who we really are. What matters is who other people think we are, which is to say, the social categories they put us in.” I agree that understanding who is privileged and is not privileged cannot be solely understood without societal context and human perspective.
I also found the yin and the yang concept of privilege very interesting. Johnson writes, for every privileged group there are one or more oppressed groups. Although this concept may seem quite obvious to most, I have never really stopped to think about this. In order for some to have access to privilege, others therefore must be lacking of opportunities and privilege. Personally, this concept hit home for me. It actually made me feel really bad. In the areas which I am privileged and have gains means another group is lacking? Is the other group lacking because of my gains? If I try to equalize the distribution of privilege and power does that mean I have to lose something in order for the other group to gain?
To illustrate my point (or dilemma) I will included an adapted entry from my journal regarding my recent trip to Cambodia.
As an American, I did not realize how privileged I was when it came to consuming resources. I read somewhere that Americans resource “footprint” in the world is 10 times greater than that of many under developed countries such as India.
In Cambodia, I saw that many people did not have easy access to clean or even safe drinking water. This really hit home with me. I complain about the taste of the water from my sink and insist on drinking purified water. I really don’t know why because the water from my sink is perfectly fine. Drinking purified water has become a way of life for me and something I somewhat consider a right. Now, I feel like it is very elitist of me to feel this way.
I feel really upset that so many in the world suffer from disease and even death simply from lack of access to clean water. Yet as an American, I have the luxury and audacity to literally shit in five gallons of clean water that many in the world do not even have access to. [Sorry for the strong language but I intentionally used that word because it best describes how disrespectful I think this is in the context of so much human suffering.]
My point in sharing this example is to illustrate how my benefits from systems of privilege were invisible in my own life. As I come to realize my areas of privilege and my gains from the system, what then do I have to “give up” so another group can gain? Do I have to lose something for another to gain? If the answer is “yes” would I actually do it? I hope I would because it sounds like the righteous and noble thing to do. But would I really give up my convenience, my access, my privilege and my comforts? This is a difficult question for me because I guess so much that I take for granted has shaped my identity and reality. I have to ask myself, “Am I willing to give up who I am for who I want to become?”
I also found the yin and the yang concept of privilege very interesting. Johnson writes, for every privileged group there are one or more oppressed groups. Although this concept may seem quite obvious to most, I have never really stopped to think about this. In order for some to have access to privilege, others therefore must be lacking of opportunities and privilege. Personally, this concept hit home for me. It actually made me feel really bad. In the areas which I am privileged and have gains means another group is lacking? Is the other group lacking because of my gains? If I try to equalize the distribution of privilege and power does that mean I have to lose something in order for the other group to gain?
To illustrate my point (or dilemma) I will included an adapted entry from my journal regarding my recent trip to Cambodia.
As an American, I did not realize how privileged I was when it came to consuming resources. I read somewhere that Americans resource “footprint” in the world is 10 times greater than that of many under developed countries such as India.
In Cambodia, I saw that many people did not have easy access to clean or even safe drinking water. This really hit home with me. I complain about the taste of the water from my sink and insist on drinking purified water. I really don’t know why because the water from my sink is perfectly fine. Drinking purified water has become a way of life for me and something I somewhat consider a right. Now, I feel like it is very elitist of me to feel this way.
I feel really upset that so many in the world suffer from disease and even death simply from lack of access to clean water. Yet as an American, I have the luxury and audacity to literally shit in five gallons of clean water that many in the world do not even have access to. [Sorry for the strong language but I intentionally used that word because it best describes how disrespectful I think this is in the context of so much human suffering.]
My point in sharing this example is to illustrate how my benefits from systems of privilege were invisible in my own life. As I come to realize my areas of privilege and my gains from the system, what then do I have to “give up” so another group can gain? Do I have to lose something for another to gain? If the answer is “yes” would I actually do it? I hope I would because it sounds like the righteous and noble thing to do. But would I really give up my convenience, my access, my privilege and my comforts? This is a difficult question for me because I guess so much that I take for granted has shaped my identity and reality. I have to ask myself, “Am I willing to give up who I am for who I want to become?”
Monday, November 29, 2010
White Privilege: Part 1:Chp 2: Failing to see
In the book, White Privilege (2005) Dalton, the author of chapter two, asserts that most White people fail to see or understand themselves in racial terms. Dalton makes a clear distinction between ethnicity and race. Ethnicity is one’s culture which describes aspects of their heritage, while race exist only in relation to another. For example, Blackness does not exist without Whiteness and the opposite would be true (p.16). With those differences, most people draw significant strength, pride, and understanding from knowing their cultural heritage (i.e. - Chinese-American, Irish-American, Native American, and etc).
The author purposefully makes the distinction between ethnicity and race because he believes that the quality of one’s life (at least in terms of the United States) is greatly impacted by these two categories. White is not an ethnicity, it is a physical characteristic given as an inherit birth-right, which comes with a set of advantages (p.18). A person of color in the United States is often times acutely aware that their race and/or their ethnicity will put them at a disadvantage. The author would claim that most White people are oblivious to the racial consequences for people of color because their Whiteness is the norm and White is the dominant group.
Within the larger historical contexts of the United States, I agree with the ideas that the author writes about. After speaking with a friend/colleague of mine, (who I believe identifies as German-American) I have begun to see this same topic from a slightly different perspective. She has shared some of her experiences as a blonde-hair, blue-eyed White girl in the predominately Mexican community of Dinuba, California. In Dinuba, she was the minority and considered the “other.” She would argue that the concept of White Privilege is situational. I have never considered this as being a reality for anyone who is White. In this context, she was the minority. Based on her personal experiences, she was at a societal disadvantage in the most immediate sense for that particular location and within the surrounding communities. Her story and those like it are important and should be considered when addressing White Privilege theory. I am paraphrasing but she would say that White Privilege theory needs to modified and updated for the future when Whites will be the minority (in terms of numbers).
I agree with her that she was the minority and at a disadvantage in Dinuba, however, I would contend that she was not the minority in sense of power as part of a larger people group within the context of the United States. As an adult, she could relocate to most parts of the United States and rejoin the ranks of the privileged. It is a far more uncommon experience that those deemed White in our society must survive the adversity of living in a community where they endure the perpetual disadvantage of being the minority. I would argue that her experience is unfortunate but rare for the majority of Whites in this country.
During our conversation, we both agreed that we would replace the terms minority/majority with dominant/non-dominant to accurately reflect the concept of White Privilege and so it can be utilized on a broader scale. When a particular group is the dominant group, they intentionally or unintentionally, do not see their privilege and possess the potential to marginalize the other. Whether intentional or not, the negative impact is felt none-the-less. For example, as a supervisor of an emerging program called Renaissance Scholars, I did not immediately notice how aspects of my identity could marginalize others. I am Black and Asian American but physically appear to be more African-American. The other staff person in the program happens to be African-American as well. When I was developing a student brochure for Renaissance Scholars, originally I put pictures of the staff and pictures of graduated students. Me, my staff, and the pictures I had of graduates were all African-American. When I circulated the brochure for edits, I received questions like, “Is Renaissance Scholars just for African-Americans? Do you have to be Black to be in this program?”
The Renaissance Scholars Program is not intended for Blacks but for high-achieving former foster youth and independent youth at the university. I did not realize how “my normal” was marginalizing others. Needless to say, I removed all photos of just African-Americans and intentionally found pictures of diverse student groups. I believe we all have prejudice and/or bias. We must be intentional about recognizing those bias and work toward being sensitive and inclusive, while respecting the differences.
The author purposefully makes the distinction between ethnicity and race because he believes that the quality of one’s life (at least in terms of the United States) is greatly impacted by these two categories. White is not an ethnicity, it is a physical characteristic given as an inherit birth-right, which comes with a set of advantages (p.18). A person of color in the United States is often times acutely aware that their race and/or their ethnicity will put them at a disadvantage. The author would claim that most White people are oblivious to the racial consequences for people of color because their Whiteness is the norm and White is the dominant group.
Within the larger historical contexts of the United States, I agree with the ideas that the author writes about. After speaking with a friend/colleague of mine, (who I believe identifies as German-American) I have begun to see this same topic from a slightly different perspective. She has shared some of her experiences as a blonde-hair, blue-eyed White girl in the predominately Mexican community of Dinuba, California. In Dinuba, she was the minority and considered the “other.” She would argue that the concept of White Privilege is situational. I have never considered this as being a reality for anyone who is White. In this context, she was the minority. Based on her personal experiences, she was at a societal disadvantage in the most immediate sense for that particular location and within the surrounding communities. Her story and those like it are important and should be considered when addressing White Privilege theory. I am paraphrasing but she would say that White Privilege theory needs to modified and updated for the future when Whites will be the minority (in terms of numbers).
I agree with her that she was the minority and at a disadvantage in Dinuba, however, I would contend that she was not the minority in sense of power as part of a larger people group within the context of the United States. As an adult, she could relocate to most parts of the United States and rejoin the ranks of the privileged. It is a far more uncommon experience that those deemed White in our society must survive the adversity of living in a community where they endure the perpetual disadvantage of being the minority. I would argue that her experience is unfortunate but rare for the majority of Whites in this country.
During our conversation, we both agreed that we would replace the terms minority/majority with dominant/non-dominant to accurately reflect the concept of White Privilege and so it can be utilized on a broader scale. When a particular group is the dominant group, they intentionally or unintentionally, do not see their privilege and possess the potential to marginalize the other. Whether intentional or not, the negative impact is felt none-the-less. For example, as a supervisor of an emerging program called Renaissance Scholars, I did not immediately notice how aspects of my identity could marginalize others. I am Black and Asian American but physically appear to be more African-American. The other staff person in the program happens to be African-American as well. When I was developing a student brochure for Renaissance Scholars, originally I put pictures of the staff and pictures of graduated students. Me, my staff, and the pictures I had of graduates were all African-American. When I circulated the brochure for edits, I received questions like, “Is Renaissance Scholars just for African-Americans? Do you have to be Black to be in this program?”
The Renaissance Scholars Program is not intended for Blacks but for high-achieving former foster youth and independent youth at the university. I did not realize how “my normal” was marginalizing others. Needless to say, I removed all photos of just African-Americans and intentionally found pictures of diverse student groups. I believe we all have prejudice and/or bias. We must be intentional about recognizing those bias and work toward being sensitive and inclusive, while respecting the differences.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Chapter 1: The matter of Whiteness
“As long as race is something only applied to non-white peoples, as long as white people are not racially seen and named, they/we functions as a human norm. Other people are raced, we are just people” (Rothenberg, 2005, p.10).
This chapter, The Matter of Whiteness, focuses on the racial imagery of White people. The ideas, values, and norms of the Western cultural are centered on Whiteness. To be White is to be normal. To be normal, which is the standard that all other ethnic groups are measured against, is the equivalent of “being human.” Dyer, the chapter’s author, gives examples of how the racial imagery of Whiteness are perpetuated in everyday life. This White imagery is especially highlighted in daily use through speech and visual images. When White people speak of the “other” White people name the ethnicity of the other. For example, Whites often refer to the Blackness or Mexicaness of friends, colleagues, customers, or clients but do not refer to the Whiteness of White people they know (Rothenberg, 2005).
Dyer also writes about the invisibility of Whiteness and its power. White people have access to this power and privilege and intentionally or unintentionally participate in it. “White power, nonetheless reproduces itself regardless of intention, power differences and goodwill, and overwhelmingly because it is not seen as whiteness, but as normal (Rothenberg, 2005, p. 12).
An everyday, routine activity such as thumbing through a magazine stands out in my mind when reflecting on this topic. My senior year in high-school, (which was a predominately White school) I brought a magazine to school so I could thumb through it before class started. This was a common practice for many high-school girls. I was so excited to have the newest edition of Essence magazine (which was geared toward African-American females). A White girl behind me asked if she could look at my magazine. I didn’t mind because she often shared her magazines with me. She asked me, “Why are there only Black people in this magazine.” I was so offended but I didn’t have the vocabulary to articulate my frustration at the time. Instead I snapped at her and replied sharply, “I don’t know. Why are their only White people in the magazines you read?” Then I snatched the magazine away from her and faced forward in my seat.
Looking back on this situation, I know now that I got tired of consistently getting bombarded with images of Whiteness because it did not give voice or value to my existence, experiences or my norms. In that moment, with that White girl, I was mad that my Blackness was named and her Whiteness was accepted as the normal. What was worse is that she could not see it and I felt frustrated because I did not know how to speak about it. This incident is one of many in my life that re-affirmed that power of the invisibility of Whiteness which equates to privilege and can easily marginalize the other.
This chapter, The Matter of Whiteness, focuses on the racial imagery of White people. The ideas, values, and norms of the Western cultural are centered on Whiteness. To be White is to be normal. To be normal, which is the standard that all other ethnic groups are measured against, is the equivalent of “being human.” Dyer, the chapter’s author, gives examples of how the racial imagery of Whiteness are perpetuated in everyday life. This White imagery is especially highlighted in daily use through speech and visual images. When White people speak of the “other” White people name the ethnicity of the other. For example, Whites often refer to the Blackness or Mexicaness of friends, colleagues, customers, or clients but do not refer to the Whiteness of White people they know (Rothenberg, 2005).
Dyer also writes about the invisibility of Whiteness and its power. White people have access to this power and privilege and intentionally or unintentionally participate in it. “White power, nonetheless reproduces itself regardless of intention, power differences and goodwill, and overwhelmingly because it is not seen as whiteness, but as normal (Rothenberg, 2005, p. 12).
An everyday, routine activity such as thumbing through a magazine stands out in my mind when reflecting on this topic. My senior year in high-school, (which was a predominately White school) I brought a magazine to school so I could thumb through it before class started. This was a common practice for many high-school girls. I was so excited to have the newest edition of Essence magazine (which was geared toward African-American females). A White girl behind me asked if she could look at my magazine. I didn’t mind because she often shared her magazines with me. She asked me, “Why are there only Black people in this magazine.” I was so offended but I didn’t have the vocabulary to articulate my frustration at the time. Instead I snapped at her and replied sharply, “I don’t know. Why are their only White people in the magazines you read?” Then I snatched the magazine away from her and faced forward in my seat.
Looking back on this situation, I know now that I got tired of consistently getting bombarded with images of Whiteness because it did not give voice or value to my existence, experiences or my norms. In that moment, with that White girl, I was mad that my Blackness was named and her Whiteness was accepted as the normal. What was worse is that she could not see it and I felt frustrated because I did not know how to speak about it. This incident is one of many in my life that re-affirmed that power of the invisibility of Whiteness which equates to privilege and can easily marginalize the other.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
What's New?!
What’s New?!
I hope this new post finds all of my friends in good health and in good spirits. It has been a while since I last posted on my blogspot.
I am excited to share and dialogue with others about my current reading on the second edition of White Privilege: Essential readings on the other side of racism by Paula Rothenberg. White Privilege is a collection of writings from multiple authors on the topic of White privilege and explores how certain groups benefit from this racial bias.
This book, along with others, is required text for my Diversity class. The expectation for this reading is that students summarize and reflect on each chapter of the book. I have included the book’s ISBN number and citation at the bottom in case others are interested in reading along. I encourage your thoughts, questions, and feedback. Stay tuned, there is more to come….
Rothenberg, P.S. (2005). White Privilege: Essential readings on the other side of racism (2nd edition). New York, NY: Worth Publishers. ISBN: 0-7167-8733-4
I hope this new post finds all of my friends in good health and in good spirits. It has been a while since I last posted on my blogspot.
I am excited to share and dialogue with others about my current reading on the second edition of White Privilege: Essential readings on the other side of racism by Paula Rothenberg. White Privilege is a collection of writings from multiple authors on the topic of White privilege and explores how certain groups benefit from this racial bias.
This book, along with others, is required text for my Diversity class. The expectation for this reading is that students summarize and reflect on each chapter of the book. I have included the book’s ISBN number and citation at the bottom in case others are interested in reading along. I encourage your thoughts, questions, and feedback. Stay tuned, there is more to come….
Rothenberg, P.S. (2005). White Privilege: Essential readings on the other side of racism (2nd edition). New York, NY: Worth Publishers. ISBN: 0-7167-8733-4
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Too few women of color with doctorate degrees....
Based on data from the National Science Foundation here are some statistics on women of color doctorates: In 1973, 33,755 doctorates were awarded nationwide to women and men of all races and ethnicities. Of that number, Black women doctorates were. 0.5%, Hispanic women doctorates were 0.13%, Asian or Pacific Islander women were 0.6% and American Indian or Alaskan women were 0.006%.Twenty-five years later in 1998, 42,683 people received doctorates. Black women doctorates were 2.5%, Hispanic women doctorates were 1.9%, Asian or Pacific Islander women doctorates were 5.9% and American Indian or Alaskan women doctorates were 0.2%.
found on the aawu website
found on the aawu website
Monday, August 30, 2010
The life of a young, professional mommy
The word that comes to mind when I think of being a young, professional and a mommy is BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!
There never seems to be enough time in a day. I rush from home to school, school to work, meeting to meeting, work to home, school functions, birthday parties, school field trips, and fit in bedtime routines. In between all of that I desperately try to squeeze in a doctoral program and time for my beloved husband.
I have a great life but it is definetly a balancing act. Someone once told me, "You may be juggling a lot of balls all at once....some are made of plastice and some are made of glass. Just be sure not to drop the glass balls."
It all seems so important at the moment but when I stop and think about it...the glass balls are loved one. In the end, loved one are what matters. I thank God for my wonderful life, my supportive spouse, and ecouraging family and friends.
With that said, when I think of my life....the word that comes to mind is blessed.
There never seems to be enough time in a day. I rush from home to school, school to work, meeting to meeting, work to home, school functions, birthday parties, school field trips, and fit in bedtime routines. In between all of that I desperately try to squeeze in a doctoral program and time for my beloved husband.
I have a great life but it is definetly a balancing act. Someone once told me, "You may be juggling a lot of balls all at once....some are made of plastice and some are made of glass. Just be sure not to drop the glass balls."
It all seems so important at the moment but when I stop and think about it...the glass balls are loved one. In the end, loved one are what matters. I thank God for my wonderful life, my supportive spouse, and ecouraging family and friends.
With that said, when I think of my life....the word that comes to mind is blessed.
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| Daughter's bday party at preschool (during my work lunch hour) |
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| Attending my son's award ceremony |
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| Making it to daughter's pre-school graduation ceremony |
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| Rushing off to the first day of school |
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Summary and Reflection of my readings
Summary and Reflection
(Learning Log #4)
It is that time again! I will summarize and reflect on current readings from Qualitative Inquiry and Research Design (chapter 10), It’s all about Jesus!: Faith as an oppositional collegiate subculture (chapters 4-7), and Writing up qualitative research (chapters 3-6). Chapter 10 in Qualitative Inquiry and Research Design addressed the concern about the quality of qualitative research. How does one know if qualitative research study is quality? This chapter discusses the various methods researchers use to validate qualitative studies. How does one know if the information collected is reliable? The technique a researcher uses to verify reliability of data can be dependent on one’s perspective ranging from postmodern to interpretive thought. Overall, this chapter covers strategies and methods for reliability, validity and quality regarding the five approaches to qualitative research.
While reading this chapter, there were a few things that stood out to me. I did paid close attention to the quality, validity and quality of Narrative research since this is the approach I am utilizing for my study. On pages 213-214, I found that I agreed with Denzin, who advanced guidelines for interpretive research, favoring meaning and interpretation over the preoccupation of method, validation, reliability, generalizability and theoretical relevance. Perhaps I concur with Denzin’s idea of favoring meaning and interpretation when this seems to be an easier task for me at this point in the research process.
From a Critical perspective, I resonated with Angen statement that “our research should raise new possibilities, open new questions, and stimulate new dialogue. …our research must have a transformative value leading to action and change.” I agree with Angen and have hopes that my future research will be a “call to action” for many of the readers. Lastly, I was inspired by Lather’s suggestion that one’s research would move a reader from “judgment to understanding.” This is a beautiful and perhaps an idealist approach to research but one I will strive for. The goal is that I develop research that matters and makes a difference!
In chapter 4 – 7 of It’s all about Jesus!: Faith as an oppositional collegiate subculture the authors focus on the various rituals of SSC members. Chapter 4 goes into some depth about a few individual members to provide some contexts for the importance of their rituals as Evangelical Christians.
The phrase “we’re not weird…” struck me as odd in chapter 5. The authors’ word choice- “weird” could be perceived as offensive yet they continuously used it to discuss the theme of this chapter. Although some of the SSC members actually used the phrase…”were not weird” it seems somewhat disrespectful.
I understand a researcher often times should take the participant’s lead but I have my doubts if this was the most appropriate theme for this chapter. I really think there could have been a more appropriate word choice.
Chapter 6 identifies the rituals that set the SSC organization apart from other Christian organizations on campus. Christians are often time already a marginalized group on a public campus but the SSC org tends to pride themselves in being even more marginalized within their own Christian community. This marginalization is one that the SSC organization seem to wear as a badge of honor. They set themselves apart as serious and devoted Christians. On page 105, Caleb commented, “Legitimate Christians on campus are clearly the minority.” This pissed me off when I read it. Caleb’s statement come across as a very self-righteous and elitess way of viewing their brand of Christianity and demonstrated to me why they display their extreme marginalization as a brand of honor.
In chapter 7 the authors focus on the rituals of SSC members during bible study groups. What I found most interesting in this chapter was the researcher’s ability to intermittingly interject his behaviors and reflections into the writings with smooth transitions. This is a technique I want to experiment with in my own writing.
To be honest, I was in a mentally frustrated place when reading chapters 3-6 in Writing Up Qualitative Research. This frustration limited what I was able to glean as far as writing techniques. What I did get from these chapters were glimpses of encouragement and laughs with some of the authors ideas. I have some of my favorites listed below:
* Writing is a labor of love.
* Don’t get distracted about the length too early.
* Regardless of whether you are underwriting or overwriting, you are writing.
* Editing obviously can become an escape from writing.
* If you can’t write well, write shittily. You have to have something written before you can begin to improve it. (My favorite one!)
Saturday, June 26, 2010
We fall down but we get up.....
No one said that being in a doctoral program would be easy. I had a huge blow to my ego today! Without getting into all of the excruciating details, I have 3 ½ weeks before I go back to my doctoral seminars and I realized that I have done 3 major assignments wrong. I misunderstood the directions and now I have more work than I planned for. I’m not sure I can get it all done in time.
How could I have been so careless!! I am not sure what will happen now with my assignments or my class standing. I will have to try and re-group with a new assignment timeline but most importantly re-group emotionally. The only way I can recover emotionally is to reflect on lessons learned from this experience.
• Read my syllabus often throughout the semester and multiple times when working on each and every assignment. I thought reading the syllabus at the beginning of an assignment was enough but I missed details that turned into huge problems for me.
• Check in more often with professors and classmates when working on assignments to make sure I am headed in the right direction. It is so frustrating to put so much work into an assignment only to find out you’ve done it wrong.
• Lastly, remember to be kind to myself! I have made this a difficult day for myself. We all make mistakes and I AM SURELY NO EXCEPTION. I can only try to correct the mistake I made. Lesson learned!!
How could I have been so careless!! I am not sure what will happen now with my assignments or my class standing. I will have to try and re-group with a new assignment timeline but most importantly re-group emotionally. The only way I can recover emotionally is to reflect on lessons learned from this experience.
• Read my syllabus often throughout the semester and multiple times when working on each and every assignment. I thought reading the syllabus at the beginning of an assignment was enough but I missed details that turned into huge problems for me.
• Check in more often with professors and classmates when working on assignments to make sure I am headed in the right direction. It is so frustrating to put so much work into an assignment only to find out you’ve done it wrong.
• Lastly, remember to be kind to myself! I have made this a difficult day for myself. We all make mistakes and I AM SURELY NO EXCEPTION. I can only try to correct the mistake I made. Lesson learned!!
This photo is what "correcting my mistake" looks like. Which means I am up late at Denny's
(pass midnight on a Friday night) ....Ugh!
with my computer, books, highlighters & pen, and a lot of coffee.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Summary and Reflection #2
(Learning Log #2 assignment for HED 742)
My second entry includes summaries and reflections of a current study I am conducting and particular sections of four books. The books I am reading are Creswell’s Qualitative inquiry & research design: Choosing among five approaches (chapters 7 & 8), Nathan’s My freshman year: What a professor learned by becoming a student (chapter 6 - afterward), and Wolcott’s Writing up qualitative research (chapters 3). I will also include my reflections on a book titled, Interviewing as qualitative research: A guide for researchers in education and the social sciences (chapter 7) by Irving Seidman. While this last book is not a required text for this assignment it has been an additional resource for my current qualitative study entitled, The experiences of a former foster youth at a four-year university. As in my previous entry, I have included the references for the material I am reading at the end of the document.
The purpose of my current qualitative study, The experiences of a former foster youth at a four-year university, is to understand the experiences of a former foster youth student at a four-year university. I use a narrative approach because I want an in-depth understanding about the personal and institutional factors that support the success of a former foster youth, who is a graduating senior, a public four–year university. As a researcher with a critical theorist perspective, I want to know what can be learned about the experiences of this participant that could inform individuals, groups or institutions interested in improving the educational outcomes of former foster youth in higher education. I have a particular interest in this topic because I am a former foster youth and I have committed my professional and academic work to supporting former foster youth and other historically disadvantages students in higher education.
In my dilemma of deciding which approach to use with sorting and analyzing data, I found comfort in Seidman’s book, Interviewing as Qualitative Research: A guide for researchers in education and the social sciences. This book is intended for doctoral candidates and more experienced researchers interested in seeking a resource to support the interviewing process. In chapter 7, Seidman writes about the “dark side” of sorting data. Many researchers experience self-doubt in their ability to sort out what is important. Seidman notes that the apprehension is something researchers should get used to and they must learn to affirm their own abilities (pgs. 117 -118). Knowing that self-doubt is a common issue for many qualitative researchers eased my own anxieties of sorting and analyzing the data from my interviews.
“One sat at the table (or on the floor) and physically sorted a stack of data ‘papers’ by putting them into smaller piles according to the categories that allowed a first run at the organizing task (pg.38).”
This strategy was exactly what I needed! This activity really helped simplify the process for me. While I am sure there are more efficient ways to sort data with the technology that is available - this activity helped me to conceptualize the sorting process and to get started.
An additional resource in my studies has been My freshman year: What a professor learned by becoming a student. The author, Rebekah Nathan (pseudonym name), is a university professor who goes “under-cover” as college student and conducts an ethnographic study to learn about the culture of today’s undergraduate freshmen. Reading the chapters and the afterward of this book brought up similar concerns I shared with Nathan. In chapters 6 – afterward, Nathan offers her findings, observations and lessons learned during the study. Nathan writes specifically in the afterward about ethical considerations and the representation of her data. Nathan’s ethical consideration of representing data is different from my own concerns because of the difference in our studies. Nathan conducted an ethnographic study while my study only had one participant and utilized a narrative approach.
My primary ethical concern is disclosing any information that would reveal my participant’s identity. An additional concern - Should I share any findings or provide any recommendations since the study was conducted at my home institution? Lastly, how do I retell the participant’s story in a way that best represents the participant’s voice? What do I include and what do I leave out? I want to make sure I represent the participant’s authentic voice and do justice to the person’s story and experience.
I am excited and nervous to continue onto the next part of this journey in my study. No matter the outcome, I am confident that I will learn a great deal more about the process of reducing text, sorting and analyzing data in a qualitative study. I look forward to any questions or comments…..
Creswell, J. W. (2007). Qualitative inquiry & research design: Choosing among five approaches. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Lopez, K. (2010). The experiences of a former foster youth at a four-year university. Unpublished [manuscript in preparation].
Nathan, R. (2005). My freshman year: What a professor learned by becoming a student. New York, NY: Cornell University Press.
Seidman, I. (2006). Interviewing as qualitative research: A guide for researchers in education and the social sciences (3rd Ed). New York: Teachers College Press.
Wolcott, H.F. (2009). Writing up qualitative research (3rd Edition). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
I am not half....
I am not half of anything but I am full AFRICAN-ASIAN AMERICAN. I no longer choose to identify as half Black and half Filipino but rather claim MY FULL identity that embodies, embraces and celebrates my mixed hertiage. I would challenge any others with mixed heritage to make a shift in the way you self-identify. We are a whole people with full rights and privileges to both or multiple cultural groups. Blessings!
This is a picture of me and my beautiful, multi-ethnic daughter.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Summary and Reflection #1
Summary and Reflection #1
(Learning Log assignment #3 for HED 742)
Greetings!
Summary and Reflection
In chapter nine of Qualitative inquiry & research design: Choosing among five approaches the author addresses issues of writing up qualitative research within the five approaches. According to Creswell, the issues one should consider when writing qualitative research include the audience, encoding for the audience, the use of quotes, and reflexivity and representation (p. 198).
“Like Peshin, we realize that to casual readers, these stories appear to be about the SCC – its staff, its students, its programs, and its relationships with peers. Yet ultimately and unavoidably these stories and interpretations are about us – the researchers and authors. It is for this reason that we devote the remainder of this chapter to sharing our life stories. We share these stories not as self-indulgent but as a necessary prerequisite to understanding our meaning making.”
I had recently spoken with one of my professors and we were discussing why researchers study particular topics. One of my professors area of study has to do access and resiliency for under-represented groups in higher education. He told me that he has been accused of researching these kinds of topics because he is trying to “resolve his own issues.” To my surprise, he quickly accepted these accusations and owed them without shame or excuse. This was profound to me because if I really stop to think about the topics I study and the professional work I do, it directly or indirectly helps me to resolve my own issues. My assumption is that this phenomenon happens with most researchers whether they are cognizant of it or not.
So as I continue to read It’s all about Jesus!: Faith as an oppositional collegiate subculture and unfold the researchers’ journey, I wonder if it affirms or reconciles any of their personal faith beliefs or issues?
Creswell, J. W. (2007). Qualitative inquiry & research design: Choosing among five approaches (2nd Ed). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Magolda, P. & Gross, K. E. (2009). It’s all about Jesus!: Faith as an oppositional collegiate subculture. Sterling, VA: Stylus.
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