“Am I willing to give up who I am for who I want to become?”

Currently, I am reading a book titled White Privilege. This particular entry is about part 3, chapter 2 "Privilege as a paradox." The chapter made a lot of sense because the author's framework for understanding the concept of privilege aligns closely with my epistemological philosophy centered around social constructivism. I believe that knowledge and truth are subjective and constructed within the context of society and human understanding. I agree with the author of this chapter and his definition of privilege which is in relation to a group or social categories. Johnson, the author, also writes, “When it comes to privilege, then it doesn’t matter who we really are. What matters is who other people think we are, which is to say, the social categories they put us in.” I agree that understanding who is privileged and is not privileged cannot be solely understood without societal context and human perspective.

I also found the yin and the yang concept of privilege very interesting. Johnson writes, for every privileged group there are one or more oppressed groups. Although this concept may seem quite obvious to most, I have never really stopped to think about this. In order for some to have access to privilege, others therefore must be lacking of opportunities and privilege. Personally, this concept hit home for me. It actually made me feel really bad. In the areas which I am privileged and have gains means another group is lacking? Is the other group lacking because of my gains? If I try to equalize the distribution of privilege and power does that mean I have to lose something in order for the other group to gain?

To illustrate my point (or dilemma) I will included an adapted entry from my journal regarding my recent trip to Cambodia.

As an American, I did not realize how privileged I was when it came to consuming resources. I read somewhere that Americans resource “footprint” in the world is 10 times greater than that of many under developed countries such as India.

In Cambodia, I saw that many people did not have easy access to clean or even safe drinking water. This really hit home with me. I complain about the taste of the water from my sink and insist on drinking purified water. I really don’t know why because the water from my sink is perfectly fine. Drinking purified water has become a way of life for me and something I somewhat consider a right. Now, I feel like it is very elitist of me to feel this way.

I feel really upset that so many in the world suffer from disease and even death simply from lack of access to clean water. Yet as an American, I have the luxury and audacity to literally shit in five gallons of clean water that many in the world do not even have access to. [Sorry for the strong language but I intentionally used that word because it best describes how disrespectful I think this is in the context of so much human suffering.]

My point in sharing this example is to illustrate how my benefits from systems of privilege were invisible in my own life. As I come to realize my areas of privilege and my gains from the system, what then do I have to “give up” so another group can gain? Do I have to lose something for another to gain? If the answer is “yes” would I actually do it? I hope I would because it sounds like the righteous and noble thing to do. But would I really give up my convenience, my access, my privilege and my comforts? This is a difficult question for me because I guess so much that I take for granted has shaped my identity and reality. I have to ask myself, “Am I willing to give up who I am for who I want to become?”